An important article

When I was in high school, my cousin decided he didn't want to live anymore. He left a suicide note for his parents and his girlfriend and disappeared. The police found his car, but not his body. For nearly a year, we lived in a state of shock. Then, in the fall, his parents got a call. A hunter had found his body in the forest and a gun lying nearby. I remember my parents coming into my room to tell me. I had just come home from a social and remember feeling so much confusion. I couldn't understand why my oldest cousin had chosen to walk into the woods and end his life. Suicide is a decision that does not provide answers, only more questions. It leaves more hurt than almost any other option and it takes years, even decades, for family members to find joy again.

When I hear stories about suicide, my first question is always "Why?" I wonder, would the person have continued living with more friends, more support, less depression? How could the story have a different ending? Everyone in my family misses Justin at different moments and every year around the time he disappeared, we collectively wonder what we might have done differently to change the outcome. But, mostly we are filled with sadness for a life mostly un-lived and a family member we no longer have.

Usually, the Missourian doesn't report on suicide. But, because of the unique circumstances, they decided to report this story and I'm glad they did. When I read about Jacob Meadows' life this week, I thought a lot about Justin. There are many similarities in their stories: youth, awkwardness, fragility, depression. And, again, that question lingers. Why?

After tragedy, Southern Boone marching band plays on